Mattering Matters

In this fascinating interview I had recently with Secret Language of Money coauthor David Krueger [note: name and email login required], Dave said this wonderful thing that I had to stop and think about: I believe the most basic motivation we have as human beings is to be effective, to be a cause. This hit me like a thunderbolt. And it got me thinking … Why do people say they want to become “rich and famous”? Rich, I understand: the desire to be free of limitations, to be able to do whatever one wants, to have whatever comforts and pleasures one desires, to be free of lack and struggle. But famous? Why would that be such a common desire? Is it the desire for recognition? Perhaps. But I suspect that what lurks under the idea of “famous” is the more primal idea, important. That is, that we want to feel our lives genuinely...

Listening = Loving

Chelle O’Connell, a friend and Go-Giver reader, wrote to us over at the Go-Giver blog with this observation: After 25 years of marriage, I realized that there is more than one meaning for the word listen. My ex-husband frequently said, “You aren’t listening to me.” I would ask for his advice or input, and if I didn’t do as he recommended, he would say I hadn’t listened. What he really meant was that I hadn’t obeyed him. In your book [she’s talking about Chapter 9 of The Go-Giver], Susan was using the word listen in its true sense. Beautiful insight — and it’s quite true: people often have very different interpretations of what “listen” means, just as they often give very different meanings to the words “agree,” “disagree,” “talk,” “respect,” and many others. In fact, listening may be one of the most underdeveloped muscles in modern culture. Yesterday I interviewed Duane Elgin, author of The Living Universe and Voluntary Simplicity, and in the course of our talk Duane cited a source (perhaps it was Paul Chefurka) who said that awareness and love were two words for the same thing. If that’s so, then listening must be the beginning of loving. What a great way to approach the world — and how sad not...